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December 6, 2023 Dec 06, 2023 11 min read

Busting Persistent Myths About Rape and Sexual Assault

Highlights

  • Despite widespread research and statistics about rape and sexual assault, many innaccurate and damaging myths have persisted culturally about victims, perpetrators, and the nature of rape in general
  • Victims of sexual assault and rape are not to blame regardless of what they wear or consume, whether or not they try to fight off the assailant, and whether and when they choose to report the crime to authorities
  • Although women and gender non-conforming people are far more likely to experience rape and sexual assault then cisgender men, anyone of any gender can be victimized, and the same is true of perpetrators
  • The majority of sexual assault is committed by someone known to the victim, contrary to the myth that rape is a random act of violence committed by a stranger

We exist within a culture that downplays the severity of rape and sexual assault. As part of this, many harmful myths have persisted about what rape is, who it affects, and how it affects us. Today, we’re breaking down twelve of the most common myths about rape and sexual assault in hopes of busting them once and for all.

 

12 Myths About Rape (and Why They’re Wrong)

MYTH #1: "If the victim doesn’t struggle, it’s not rape"

One of the most stubborn myths about rape is the idea that victims who don’t struggle, scream, or otherwise try to fight off their attackers aren’t real victims. This is completely false, and we can prove it with science.

 

When someone is being sexually assaulted or raped, their sympathetic nervous system (also known as the “fear-response” system) activates. The sympathetic nervous system has three main modes when activated – fight, flight, and freeze. So, yes – some people may instinctively try to fight off their attacker or even run away.

 

However, many people instinctively “freeze” during dangerous experiences like rape or assault. This freeze response is actually a life-saving survival mechanism, and one that our conscious brains have very little control over in the moment.

 

Even if a victim is not stuck in freeze mode, they might consciously decide not to risk struggling or fighting in case this elicits further violence from the assailant. Regardless of why a victim might not struggle to resist rape or sexual assault, this does not mean that the act was consensual.

 

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MYTH #2: "Drinking or wearing skimpy clothing means you were asking for it”

Perhaps one of the oldest and most frustrating myths on this list, the idea that people who drink alcohol or dress in revealing clothing are somehow inviting sexual assault or rape is a flagrant example of victim blaming.

 

Clothing has nothing to do with someone’s receptivity to sexual activity. Even if someone walks down the street wearing nothing at all, this still would not justify rape or sexual assault. Sex crimes are always the fault of the person who commits them.

 

Similarly, drug and alcohol consumption is not an invitation for sexual assault either. Regardless of whether a victim was drunk or sober at the time of an assault, this has nothing to do with whether or not they are a “real victim.” In fact, perpetrators often use drugs and alcohol to lower their victims’ defenses against assault.

 

To learn more about victim blaming and the myths associated with it, check out our article “Victim Blaming: What It Is and How to Cope.”

MYTH #3: "People who wait to report must not be real victims"

Waiting to report (or not reporting at all) does not indicate anything about whether or not a victim was assaulted or raped. People make their own decisions about when and whether to report, and many victims find that they need time to decide if they want to share their story or not.

 

In fact, the majority of rape and sexual assault goes entirely unreported. Many victims have legitimate personal reasons for choosing not to report, and this does not mean that they weren’t “actually” raped. For more on this topic, check out our article “It’s Okay Not to Report Sexual Assault (Here’s Why).”

 

MYTH #4: "Victims who struggle with memory must be lying"

For this one, let’s call on the science of fear and trauma again…

 

Researchers have now demonstrated that traumatic events significantly impact our memories and ability to recall events accurately, clearly, or in consistent chronological order. Many survivors of sexual trauma struggle to consistently remember the details of their assault, which contributes to the common misconception that sexual assault victims are making up stories.

 

On the contrary, our brains strategically repress traumatic memories to make it easier for us to move on and function in our daily lives after the immediate trauma has passed. So, just because a survivor struggles to recall a consistent story about what happened to them does not mean that the survivor is lying.

 

MYTH #5: "False reporting of rape and sexual assault is common"

Despite being extremely common, this myth about rape is not backed up by any credible data. Across the board, studies estimate that between just 2% and 8% of rape and sexual assault reports are determined to be false. This means that for every 100 rape and sexual assault cases reported, 92 or more are true.

 

 

While false reporting does happen, all available data supports the fact that the overwhelming majority of people who report sexual assault and rape are telling the truth.

MYTH #6: "Most rape is committed by strangers"

It’s time to retire the horror-film idea that rape and sexual assault are committed by strange men who sneak in through our bedroom windows or jump out from behind bushes. While this can certainly happen, it does not represent the vast majority of actual rape and sexual assault cases.

 

In fact, a notably low percentage of rape and sexual assault is committed by strangers, with estimates ranging from about 7% to 20%. This means that at least 80% of all rape and sexual assault is committed by someone the victim knows – often a friend, intimate partner, or family member.

MYTH #7: "Rape can’t happen between spouses or romantic partners"

This myth is particularly disturbing, as it’s rooted in crude and outdated laws that grant married men legal access to their wives for sexual purposes. While most of these archaic laws have been overturned, some places in both the US and Canada still uphold certain permissions for marital rape (mostly in the form of lower sentences for men who commit sexual assault or rape against their wives).

 

Because women were historically regarded as the “property” of their husbands, cultural myths have formed over time to create the false idea that rape and sexual assault can’t happen in an established relationship.

 

Needless to say, rape is rape regardless of the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim. In fact, over a quarter of all rape and sexual assault is committed by the intimate partners of victims. In the US, 10-14% of married heterosexual women are raped by their husbands, and approximately 30% of all married women in the US report having “unwanted sex” with their partners. In Canada, the situation is strikingly similar, with 12% of surveyed women reporting sexual violence within intimate partnerships.

 

MYTH #8: "Rape has to involve a penis"

Despite the fact that some governments still legally define rape as forced penetration with a penis (such as the UK), this is an outdated and false perspective. Rape can involve forced penetration with any body part. It can also be committed using objects, including (but not limited to) sex toys.

MYTH #9: "Men can’t be victims of rape or sexual assault"

Although men are less likely to be victims of rape or sexual assault, they can be and are still victimized. In Canada, research estimates that about 9 in every 1,000 men experience sexual assault throughout their lives. In the US, that figure is significantly higher, where about 9% of all sexual assault victims are men.

 

Although 99% of reported sexual assault perpetrators are men, male victims can be raped or sexually assaulted by anyone of any gender, including strangers, family members, and intimate partners. Male rape is particularly prevalent in the military, where an estimated 45 men are sexually assaulted each day in the US Armed Forces, and about 4% of men in the Canadian Armed Forces experience sexual assault during their service.

 

In addition to the more commonly discussed problem of anal rape, men can also be the victims of something called “forced-to-penetrate” rape. If a man is non-consensually aroused and forced to penetrate someone else, this is considered rape.

 

The main reason myths about male sexual assault victims persist is because of false and damaging ideas about gender and masculinity. Men who speak out about rape and sexual assault are often viewed as weak, and the cultural expectation for men to be perpetually sexually eager doesn’t leave much room for men to say “no.”

MYTH #10: "Women can’t commit rape or sexual assault"

Along the same lines of the myth discussed above, women are not exempt from committing rape and sexual assault. Because rape does not require the use of a penis, anyone can perpetrate rape or sexual assault regardless of their gender or anatomy. It’s extremely important for women – and people of all genders – to cultivate healthy consent practices to ensure that all sexual interactions are truly consensual.

MYTH #11: "No means 'convince me'"

Despite sweeping efforts to improve cultural narratives about consent, many people still buy into the idea that some people (particularly women) actually enjoy being pressured into sex. This is false, and pressuring someone into having sex with you is rape.

 

No does not mean “convince me” or “I’m playing hard to get” – no means no. Any sexual activity that happens as a result of one person pressuring, persuading, or coercing another person into being sexual is not truly consensual and could be considered rape or sexual assault.

MYTH #12: "Rape is just a natural sexual urge"

Increasingly popular among people with certain political views, the idea that rape is a natural sexual urge is on the rise, particularly among men. But it’s just another false idea.

 

Everyone has the ability to control their sexual urges, and claiming that rape is simply an instinctive behavior is a cop out rooted in pseudoscience. Even if the urge to commit rape and sexual assault was “natural,” this would not change the fact that it is unethical, violent, and unjust.

Conclusion

As you can see, victims of sexual assault and rape are navigating a world awash with far too many myths about rape (and false ideas about sexual violence in general). If you’re a victim who’s been made to feel less legitimate in your experiences by any of the myths on this list, we hope this article has helped you feel more empowered in your worth and autonomy.

Summary :

Despite the widespread availability of accurate and credible information about sexual assault and rape, our culture is awash with many false and damaging myths about rape and sexual violence. Many of these myths play into the trend of victim blaming, insisting that victims who wait to report, don’t struggle during an assault, or wear revealing clothing aren’t real victims. Other myths perpetuate gender stereotypes, pushing the ideas that men cannot be raped and that women cannot be rapists. Other myths include the idea that most rape and sexual assault are committed by strangers and that sexual violence cannot happen in the context of an established romantic relationship. Understanding where these myths come from and why they’re untrue is an important part of dismantling rape culture and cultivating a sense of empowerment and self-worth for survivors.

About the Author

Dana Anastasia (they/them) is an independent writer, editor, podcaster, and artist. With a degree in interdisciplinary sociology and a background in domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy, Dana brings a keen awareness of victim and survivor needs and experiences to their work. Learn more at www.danaanastasia.com.



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